Spiritual Disciplines #6 - Solitude
Spiritual
Disciplines #6 – Solitude
Developed by Kevin McGill and Tim Pike. Written by Kevin
McGill.
As a Christian, what is my place in today's culture?
Me, Myself and the World I
Answering
where the culture ends, and where I begin is very difficult because that’s
exactly the problem. As a Christian I don’t know where culture begins and I
end. My counselor actually presented a nice snapshot of me. Evidently, I grew
up in a dysfunctional home. None of you can relate I’m sure. Chaos was the rule of
my home. People didn’t always say nice things to me. My inner-Kevin or “Little
Kevin” has been hurt, and refuses to grow up. So I have been visiting a
counselor for about 3 months. One thing she mentioned was this word,
“enmeshment”. Typically, people-pleasers struggle with this. They are so
enmeshed with people around them, that one doesn’t know where “I” end, and
another person begins. They continue to adapt to the values of everyone else
around them. So I like what everyone else likes. I hate what everyone else
hates. For me, it comes out most when I’m near people of substantial authority.
My personality changes. I become the person I think they want me to be. And so
I am on an emotional rollercoaster, always shifting my mind, opinion, mood to
my environment. This is exactly where most of us are when it comes to culture.
While you might not be diagnosed with an “enmeshment” disorder, you have been
under pressure to adapt, and lose your personality to The Culture around you since junior high. And so every life decision
is made by North Park Mall. And the culture’s voice asks you a thousand
questions: “Why aren’t you married? When
are you going to buy that car? Why don’t you have the guts to ask for a raise?
What’s wrong with your career? About time you buy that house.” then it just
starts telling you: “Don’t wear that. Don’t say that. Feel nervous around those
people. Lie to her. Sleep with him. Cheat on her. Hate him. Abuse her. Ignore
them.” and our emotions
and values are enmeshed to In touch, CNN news, and the opinion of my guy
friends. “I” is lost to the world, and I become a neurotic, self-indulging,
love-starved person who doesn’t even know what to believe anymore.
Psalm 46:10
rushes through your God-starved soul, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Cultural Detox I
Dallas
Willard in his book, “The Spirit of the Disciplines”, says that because our
lives are so public, “…even our secular existence withers from lack of a hidden
life. Conversation degenerates into mere gossip and those we meet can only talk
of what they heard from someone else.” We cannot talk about our inner-person,
because we don’t know who that is. It is no wonder that our pop culture has
degenerated to gossip magazines that make public, the things that should be
private, forcing the celebrities to scream for some form of private experience.
The human existence is inhumane when it is forever defined by the public eye. In
the practice
of Solitude, we are not shutting ourselves from noise, we are shutting
ourselves off from the human voice. We are turning ourselves from one voice, so
that we can finally hear the true Voice. Christ tells us the True Voice was the
Spirit. And it is the still small Voice of God that we crave desperately.
Honestly, why don’t we seek the Voice of God?
Soul Intervention I
Now,
I have to warn you, these times of solitude will be rough, especially for some
of us. Yet, that’s exactly what we need – to let these anxieties and fears rise
to the surface so that you and God can face them together. Christ was led by
the Spirit into the wilderness for solitude and fasting. In this time of
solitude, it says in Luke 7 that he was tempted by the devil. What is
interesting is that Jesus wasn’t tempted by Satan until the end of the forty
days. It says in verse 2 that at the end of 40 days, then the devil approached
Him. Luke tells us that Jesus didn’t go into the wilderness to be tempted,
rather for a time with the Spirit. It was very common for Jesus to take these
times of solitude, to re-energize and prepare for his next time in ministry. –
see Mark 1:35; 3:13; 6:31; 46. He even
invited his disciples for a time of solitude in Mark 6:30-32. But in these
times of solitude, the very things that you need to be separated from, will
become the greatest temptation. The weaknesses in your flesh will be quickly
exposed. I believe that Satan knew the
best time to attack Jesus was when his flesh was weakened. First, Satan tempted
Jesus with the physical security of the world - food (v3). Then he tempted him
with personal glory (verse 8), and then he tempted Jesus with self-glory,
trying to get Jesus to remind himself how powerful He is. Above all else, Satan, through the means of
culture, wants to be the source. In your time, you will be wholly distracted by
all of these and maybe other things. You
will wrestle and struggle with all of these temptations, as you begin to detox
from a culture that you have become enmeshed in. Your flesh will want to hear
the human voice, its reassurance and its direction, but once you overcome that,
the end result will be a greater depth of confidence in God’s Word, his Power,
and our confidence in self.
The
final result will be that when you return back into culture, you will have
enough self-respect to differentiate where you end, and this world begins. This
is what I love about the way of Jesus! He would nose-dive into the thick of
culture. Drinking with prostitutes and robbers, and thieves and CEO execs (tax
collectors). Jesus even said about himself, “The Son of Man came eating and drinking,
and they say, 'Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax
collectors and sinners!' Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds." (Matt
7:19). But then he ran out into the wilderness and disconnected at the first
chance he could get so that He was in tune with the Spirit. You can stand
confidently in the world, but not be of it (John 17:14-21). You can reach out
and love, with certainty, with confidence because you know you are complete in
Christ. You don’t have to build bunkers, nor do you have to lose yourself,
rather take time away with Jesus, communing and resting with Him.
Further Reasons for Solitude I
Know
the Voice of God – It is hard to differentiate the voice of God from the
voice within, because we have spent too much time absorbing the human voice (Psalm
1 Kings 19:11-13; Galatians 1:17).
The Way of Jesus – What better reason than the fact that Jesus did
it? If the God of the universe needed to get away to re-energize and listen to
the Spirit while he was on earth, than how much more do we need this time of
solitude (Matthew 14:23; Luke 4:42)!
The Mirror of Solitude – Who we are is exposed. Louise Bouyer said:
“Solitude is a terrible trial, for it serves to crack open and burst apart the
shell of our superficial securities. It opens to us the unknown abyss that we
all carry within us…and discloses the fact that these abysses are haunted.
Seek The Will of God – Jesus spent all night praying in solitude to
hear God’s will regarding as he chose the twelve disciples. I wonder how much
time in solitude we should spend making a decision about work, spouse, or other
significant decisions.
Discussion Questions I
1.
Take 15 minutes and find as much of a solitary
place as possible in the house or outside. You can sit in silence, or review a
key verse – I would recommend Psalm 64:10. When the alarm goes off, take
another 5 minutes and record your experience here: What did you feel, what
where your thoughts?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.
Share with the group your 15 minute experience.
Be as honest with the group your experience as possible – no masks! J
3.
What voice of our culture is the most distractive
element in your life today (career, money, relationships, etc)?
4.
What area of your life could you use some real
clarity and peace (just say “Serenity now!” three times. That should do the
trick.) ?
5.
For some, it’s hard to believe that all of this
effort will result the “Centered” Christian. Read Psalm 112:1, 5-9. What is
encouraging for you in your walk with Christ after hearing this passage? Do you
struggle accepting this verse as reality? Share with the group.
6.
Close in prayer.
Exercise for this week:
I am going to send out an email
tonight, asking if you want to receive this email for the next 7 days with the
question below. Reply if you want an
email with this question below for the next 7 days. If you don’t want the
email but want to still do the exercise, then write this out and put it in a
place where you can receive it readily.
How am I
being lead by the voice of this culture?
Announcements I
§ We will discuss options to help Habitat for Humanity or Exodus
Ministries next week. Melissa De leon is willing to visit our group in two
weeks.